This is a sad story.  One of heartbreak. Mom dies just after having 10th child.  Dad quits job to take care of the fold.  Bills pile up.  He's grieving.  Out of work.  Wants what's best for his kids and decides to use the protection of the law to get the kids into what he hopes is a better life. 

Gosh, man, we can only imagine what it's like to suddenly lose your wife of 17 years. 

Any thoughts out there on how to help this guy get back on his feet?  Makes me wonder what would happen if my bride went on without me in these days when we have seven at home.  I don't know how I would make it either.

  1. Travis Franklin

    I’m fortunate enough to have family that I can turn to, so I can’t put myself in his shoes. However, I can imagine no circumstance that would lead me to abandon my kids. I’d rather live in a tent with them at my side than leave them for a stranger to raise. There are enough programs out there that this wasn’t his only option – just the easiest.

  2. Mary

    How incredibly heart wrenching. Easiest? Could it really be easy for someone to give up their children, especially after the death of a spouse? I’m not saying it was the right thing to do, but I also know that governmental assistance programs are not always what they should be and that mental health issues must come into play under such a stressful time. Makes me incredibly grateful to have family assistance should we need it.

  3. Thomas

    I am fortunately not in that man’s shoes, but there is no way I could give up my children. I agree with Travis- there had to be other options.

  4. Elias

    First, I would resolve to never let me family fall apart, or let go of my children. That thought would galvanize me. Second, I would look at the social services programs, and if those didn’t work, I would move close to my relatives and ask for their assistance to care for the kids. Once I was able to stabilize their lives, I’d throw myself into as much work as I could physically and mentally handle to take care of them. No satisfaction comes from giving up; a ton of satisfaction comes from facing this challenge down and conquering it. I’d never leave me kids, ever. I’d make it my mission in life to overcome this and just get darned stubborn until I did.

  5. bloggingmom67

    I feel for this dad, I really do.
    But I think he illustrates why the Nebraska safe haven law goes too far.
    This dad needed help, but he felt the only help he could get is to give up his kids. Based on the report, he’s likely grieving, struggling with depression. He may really regret giving up the kids once he’s better. What happens then?
    I think the safe haven law in Nebraska just makes it too each for a family to give up their kids, rather than find another solution.

  6. Debbie

    I know first-hand that losing a spouse is hell, but the rest of the story baffles me. My heart breaks for the dad, but even more for the kids.
    Even as an adult, I still have a huge fear of losing my mom — I can not imagine being seventeen (or younger), losing mom, and having dad boot me out of the car and just drive away.
    I’m trying my best not to “judge” this dad who is probably in severe need of mental health care; but all I can think about is how those kids must feel in that situation.

  7. Danny Brown

    I can’t even begin to contemplate how this guy must feel. Having to give up one kid would be bad enough… but nine?
    Surely there must be programs to help?

  8. Stephen Jackson

    I think he’s a brave person. We don’t know what obstacles may be placed in front of us and we can’t never say what we’ll do or not do until that situation has presented itself.
    This situation may only be temporary. There’s no law that says that he can’t get his family back once his life is back on track and that he can’t reunite his family.
    Personally, I’m rooting for him to make it back when one day his family will be with him and everyone will be whole again

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