My 6-year-old daughter, technically a step, to this day believes I’m her biological daddy. She’s never seen him. He’s never even seen her.
To this daughter, I am Daddy. Just like to my three biological daughters.
Because of my March separation from my wife, Kari, I’ve been living in an apartment about four miles away from our home. My access to her daughter, which I’ve complained about, has been severely limited. But tonight, Kari allowed her to come over right after school and now, to spend the night.
We’ve had a great night. Been shopping. We’ve read. We’ve played a new Barbie/Princess video game on the Wii. We’ve talked and we’ve talked to her three sisters, all who miss her beyond the depths of simple words.
They’ve asked me to SMS pictures of their sister to their phones. They’ve talked on the phone. And if my first wife hadn’t stupidly moved the girls 30 miles away from their dad as she continues her never-say-stop selfishness to alienate me from my girls, I probably could have hooked all four up together tonight to spend some much needed time as one again.
But that didn’t happen tonight. Again, my first wife decided it was best to move 30 miles away, to move 30 miles more away from where her latest husband works (he already was driving 25 miles to work–now it’s 55 or 110 round trip) on and have I mentioned, she moved my eldest daughter back to the local school here after two days of school so now my eldest daughter rides 60 miles to and from school each and every day?
Back to my point. My eldest twin daughter called last tonight before bed time. She was in tears. Real deep, serious, sad, heart-broken tears. She misses her little sister. All three of them do, but this one daughter was clearly distraught. And with them being 30 miles away or more to go to school each day, it’s not easy to link them all back up together. And with the idiocy of my first wife, well, it’s a challenge for me to even see my own kids.
So to those of you contemplating separation or divorce tonight, just give pause to what it’s going to do to your kids. Yes, you and your mate/partner may be at wit’s end with each other, but there’s a whole other dimension to keep in mind. I don’t know what happens with my girls when it comes to my 6 yo dd. She has three brothers at home tonight, too, that my girls miss and haven’t seen. And they’re reaching out wishing to see the boys as well.
We were all torn apart in various hellish ways. A significant portion of that caused by lies in court by my first wife. Lies we even countered with documented legal evidence and it fell on deaf ears of the court. It’s been maddening to endure all this, but seeing it rip so viciously into the tender hearts of my girls just infuriates me. I’m longing for justice in our court system that has done nothing but serve to rip our family apart. But more and more doubtful with each passing day. And for what?