This should be along the lines of the next news announcement that the Dallas Cowboys should release: (Here, I’ll draft it for free.)
DALLAS COWBOY OWNER AND GENERAL MANAGER ANNOUNCES HE’S STEPPING DOWN AS GM
Jerry Jones Says Move Is In The Best Interest Of The Fans and The Dallas Cowboy Organization
DALLAS: Dallas Cowboy Owner and General Manager Jerry Jones on ???day announced that in an effort to do what’s best for the fans and Dallas Cowboy football organization, he is stepping down as the GM of the organization effective immediately, and turning the operations over to (someone whose last name is NOT JONES.)
Jones, who said he is asking head coach Wade Phillips, who has served at the helm of the fledgling Cowboy team for the past four years, to step down effective immediately and replacing him with (someone whose last name is name Campo or Jones.)
“It’s time for new leadership in the Dallas Cowboy organization and it’s time for that change to begin at the top and work its way down throughout the organization,” Jones said during a news conference at (Valley Ranch, Cowboys Stadium, doesn’t matter.) “I’ve always put what I thought were the best interests of the fans first and that’s what I’m doing again here today. We will have the new GM in place this week, and Coach Phillips will be coaching his last game this coming Sunday. As the owner, I have a financial interest in the well-being of the Cowboys organization, but the new GM will have full ability to hire and fire as necessary. I will not interfere.”
Jones said he will leave it up to the new GM (again, whose name isn’t JONES) to decide who the new head coach will be and which players will be allowed to remain on the roster. This will include whether or not injured quarterback Tony Romo is put on the IR list, and whether or not he will be back for the remainder of the 2010 season, or even 2011.
“This is a hard decision to make, but it’s the only decision to be made,” Jones said. “Dallas Cowboy fans deserve better than what they’ve seen so far this year. I’m deeply saddened that we were not able to assemble a Super Bowl team to play here in Dallas in February. Clearly, we have much rebuilding to do and the only way I see anything positive coming out of this is for us to put everything and everyone on the table and decide candidly who stays and who goes. Stepping out of the way of that decision-making process seems to be what would be best for this organization.”
Of course, I’m dreaming. Egos and pride are much too big for such to happen. And the “it’s about the fans” part is, well, you know.