And so now closes another sad chapter that over the past few years has become the living tragedy of our fabled namesake.

My second divorce is being “proven up,” today in court. For me, marriage has equated to the following:

2(Marriage) + kids + step-children/It wasn’t all my fault = FAIL + Disaster + Lingering Pains + 1st Wife Won’t Let Go. 

I’ve heard of people who get on planes and take their closest friends to Vegas to celebrate such occasions. I just don’t understand that. There is nothing to celebrate here, nor in Sin City.

Divorce Is Like A Death

Years ago I was told that a divorce, is “like having a funeral, just no one dies.”

After two divorces, there are huge parts within me that have died two very painful deaths.  (Did I mention I had a heart attack nine weeks ago at age 45?!) When I die, and I most certainly will pass at an earlier age than I should have, it will be in large part due to the hell I have endured as a consequence of having been married and then divorced.

In the case of this marriage, there are so many virtual deaths to mark: the loss of a spouse, the loss of step-children, the loss of the dreams that were hoped for and so many more.  All of that is gone now.

The only thing worse is to have been married to someone who can’t just walk away and leave it alone; someone who clearly has a mission to inflict as much continuing pain and anger and God knows what else into a stage show that ended years ago.

I just want to be left alone.

Nothing To Celebrate

There will be no trips to Vegas for me to celebrate.  I’ve actually never even been there and have no plans of it going onto the travel itinerary.

It’s time to close a chapter and put the book on the shelf of life, maybe to be glanced at later for the good times that were, and not the agony that has continued to ease the past 18 months.

I used to tell my daughters that Daddy wasn’t paying for any weddings until they were at least 28.  Hopefully, in spite of the stresses of life and exes, I’ll live that long.  But if it were to be an issue today, Daddy’d be telling them not to do it at all.

I’ve had two horrendous experiences with marriage.  There will be no third.  Some people are able to find a happy balance and stay married for years.  That’s great to see and hear about, but clearly something I shall never know the likes of.

My attorney the other day was saying, “You know, you can never get married again, right?  You might could live with someone, but no more marriages.”   Sage advice, but even beyond the morality points, even the latter prospect is something of which I want no part.

Marriage and divorce rates in the US, 1990-200...

Image via Wikipedia

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